| A REQUEST |
[21 Nov 2008|06:23pm] |
I've noticed that a lot of you have sexy 'come hither' icons. Can you do my a favor and use them to comment to this post? I want to see your bedroom eyes and pretend you really want me.
For good measure and in the spirit of fair trade, I've used my "I'd hit that" icon. Thank you.
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[19 Nov 2008|11:10pm] |
People need to stop making fun of my penis.
Oh, and hi new people.
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[14 Nov 2008|01:42am] |
HI NEW HIRES. I'M JULIAN EVANS. YOU WILL LEARN TO LOVE ME IN NO TIME.
Now, you may ask: "Why are you being so annoying, you impressively attractive man?". Well, I'll tell you. It's my personality. Also, it seems to annoy a small minority, and therefore I continue.
So. Tomorrow is Friday. Who else is really happy about this?
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[31 Oct 2008|02:14pm] |
( HAPPY HALLOWEEN GUYS! )
I think I'm going to go as The Kid That Buried His Head In Jane's Ass. It will require her cooperation, but I we can make it work. What do you say, Jane?
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[18 Oct 2008|01:25pm] |
I think Vincent is lying. I think he was secretly invited to the Girls' Night Out and covering his tracks so the rest of us don't get jealous.
I'm not impressed, ladies. I wanted to go.
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[04 Oct 2008|12:16pm] |
In light of the anonymous post, I'd like to clear a few things up about the second round of Spentie Awards. You know, because Natalie didn't have a stick up her ass for the first round, and also I really think this will piss Dave off, too. So I'm going for it.
1) The Spentie results were not meant to make people feel bitter or insecure. I'm sorry that they have caused grief among a select number of individuals. Natalie has turned everyone against them because she took them way, way too seriously to begin with and the office thinks she's a whore. I can smell it.
2) They're not serious. Attempting to prove to the rest of the office that they aren't serious is kind of a fruitless task, but you may continue to do so if it makes you feel better.
3) Brad is the hottest man in the office by popular vote, but so is Nathan. I demand everyone focuses their indignant attitudes on both parties, because I think Brad's head is getting a little too big. The upset towards him only makes him more desirable. After all, the prettiest people are always hated the most. And that leads me to my last point:
4) I'm sorry I won awards. If you're focusing too much and it makes you feel better, you can pretend I rigged it. However, if they truly mean nothing to you, you might just want to get over it. Because really? I could talk about them for months if it irritates people. Don't tempt me.
So. In the spirit of honesty, I'm going to do the right thing and lock this post from the executives. AHAHAHA. Okay. No. who wants to tell me they're angry with me to my face? Have at it.
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[21 Sep 2008|06:34pm] |
Did you guys notice that most of us just use one icon now when commenting? I think we should try changing it up again. I never read comments or entries, so I'd like to be entertained otherwise.
I have nothing political, philosophical or sexual to update with, so I suppose I'll have to cut off here. The rules for these journal updates are strict, and I wouldn't dare break them.
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| THE SPENTIE AWARDS! |
[15 Sep 2008|12:24am] |
The results are in and under the cut! You may discuss them below, as long as you do not demand a recount. I will see to it that you are murdered if you do this.
Thank you to everyone that voted!
WARNING: This post is very image heavy! Be ready for this.
( CLICK HERE FOR THE WINNERS )
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[11 Sep 2008|02:32pm] |
Reminder. You have until midnight tomorrow to vote in the Spenties. Go HERE to do so.
I expected to check my friend's page and see a bunch of posts about remembering 9/11. I found myself reading about assholes and vaginas instead. You've shocked me, office. Not really, but I'm trying out sarcasm.
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| Note of Clarification |
[06 Sep 2008|10:45am] |
Just to clarify, the Spentie nominations were done by popular vote. If you can believe it, it's hard for some people to understand. Some people didn't understand where the names came from and why I didn't hold a separate round of voting regarding the repeats. So I could get more repeats and the Spenties could last forever. Ahaha. Honestly.
Don't fear, Spent. If you were in the top numbers, you were nominated. The repeats made things tricky, but we tried to be as fair as possible.
If you have serious concerns, you should get a life you can contact me. But I'm probably just going to tell you to lighten up. I won't lie.
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| LAST CHANCE |
[04 Sep 2008|08:38pm] |
Okay, everyone. You have under four hours left to vote in the Spenties. Go HERE if you'd like to be included in this wonderful process.
Have a lovely night.
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[03 Sep 2008|08:58pm] |
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I just thought I'd remind everyone that tomorrow is your last chance to vote in the Spenties. Please go HERE to do so!
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[31 Aug 2008|08:57pm] |
Alek just pissed me off. SO. I just thought I'd let everyone know that if you don't plan on voting in the Spenties, but were nominated by your coworkers, I'm going to leave you out of the nominations. You don't get a shot at the prize because you're too good to vote. Also, I assume that if you didn't vote, you want nothing to do with it. So, yes. You'll get your wish on that one. I feel really bad for people that don't care about any of this. At least I'm having fun.
Vote here! You only have four days left.
xoxoxoxoxoxox.
Julian the Tyrant.
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| ATTENTION - SPENTIE POST! - PLEASE READ |
[25 Aug 2008|03:28pm] |
Time for another post about the upcoming Spenties. I've pulled the awards from last year and listed them in this post. I've also added Lena's additions, since she's the ONLY ONE that has given a opinion on the categories.
( Awards from Last Year's Spenties )
( Possible New Additions )
So, the question is. Is everyone okay with this awards list? Nothing you want to take out/add? If I get the go ahead, I'll start setting things up. Lena (if she wants!) will help me do the tallying, and will automatically get the 'most helpful' award. No offense, guys.
OH. And don't suggest something like "Ugliest", because we want to keep the actual voting part positive. Plus, we all know that Tagg would automatically win and I don't want to force anyone to make a graphic award of his face.
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| Spentie Awards |
[15 Aug 2008|02:14pm] |
ATTENTION: IF YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON, YOU WILL REPLY TO THIS POST TO HELP ME OUT. PLEASE ANSWER THE FOLLOWING TWO QUESTIONS:
1. If we were to hold the Spenties again, what sort of awards would you suggest we give out? Obviously, best boss and such are a given. What else do you want to see?
2. We did things in poll format last time with pre-chosen nominees, but I think this time we should just do a general vote. Perhaps, to make it fair, we should hold a first round of voting for nominations, and then do the final voting involving the top three most nominated. What do you think?
So, Spent. Opinions? Let me have them.
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[31 Jul 2008|12:53pm] |
THIS POST IS OBNOXIOUS!
Now that I have your attention, who thinks we should have another Spenties award round? They were my favorite because I was voted 'Hottest Man in the Office'. I worked really hard for that one.
Edit: I like that everyone is fighting in this post. It's turning me on. That's right, Dave. You're turning me on. No. I'll be fired.
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[22 Jul 2008|03:27pm] |
This blog is so addicting. If you ever want to feel better about yourself, read these people's secrets. Sometimes they can be really fucked up.
In other news, I saw a guy in Starbucks this morning who happened to look a LOT like Russell Crowe, so I moved closed to him to see if he had a funny accent, and he didn't. Good story, I know. I was very disappointed.
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[04 Jul 2008|02:30pm] |
WHOO. INDEPENDENCE DAY!
That is all.
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[30 Jun 2008|09:52am] |
YESTERDAY WAS EMBARRASSING AND AWKWARD. This is me pretending it didn't happen.
I encourage everyone who knows the words to Independence Day by Martina McBride to sing it around Alek this week. It's his favorite song because he loves American nationalism. Ahahaha. And, you know, if you don't know the words, just make them up. I realize that not everyone listens to country.
However, if you do know some country songs, you can mix it up with a "If you don't like America, you can get out." tune. That will work too.
( My Hat for Oliver's Party )
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